Depression is an ugly thing. It’s like being in a submarine without a proper depth gauge. You’ve really got no way of seeing or knowing how deep down under you’ve gone until the pressure starts crushing your hull.
There was a lot of pressure in our lives last year. Not just me, but our entire family. The kid’s school blew up (again) and things reached the point where homeschooling was the only feasible option. This would be the same school my wife taught in, and our daughter was even one of her students. It pretty quickly became obvious that it was time to move on, so we did. One unplanned move later with the resulting unplanned bills, and we found ourselves living in Hanna, Alberta.
Things are better here. My wife gets to work for an inspiring principal again. My daughter has more friends in her grade in her new school than there are kids in the entire junior high in her old school (9 kids). She is also engaged in a lot of extra activities like the yearbook club and writing for the school Web site. I’ve been fairly heavily involved in the school as a volunteer, which has been great for meeting new people.
Restarting my life here as a photographer has been challenging. I don’t find much around town that intrigues me in terms of photography – the interest just hasn’t been there. It is only in the last week or so that I’ve been starting to cruise the back roads around town, looking for the types of scenes that draw me in. I’ve been finding them and recording them in my GPS along with notes for the direction of light, etc. Much better than spending the evening in front of Netflix.
I’m slowly resurfacing from the depths. My hull feels a bit buckled and I’m still pumping out water and effecting repairs, but hey, I believe I’m starting to see the glimmer of light shining through the surface above. Light I haven’t seen for over a year and a half. More importantly, I’m starting to feel like me again, which is to say, A Photographer. I’ve been out with a camera three days in a row now. I’m looking forward to more of the same tomorrow. It’s been close to two years since I’ve been excited about doing photography for myself, not just work for others.
I spent this evening exploring and photographing Hanna Cemetery, which is one of the more beautiful small town cemeteries I’ve encountered in the past decade. I even poached some sunset shots off of a slough, for probably the first time in a couple years.
Things are definitely getting better.